Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Dangerous Things

I am a fearful person, more and moreso, the older I get. Hermitage is becoming more comfortable to me, while direct contact with the public is not. It has nothing to do with germs or fear of crowds. It is more of a ever-narrowing selectiveness of who I want to spend time with, as time becomes more precious to me in ways that it never was before.

Such as now.... the sensible thing would be to go to bed. But since when have I ever been the one to do the sensible thing? I often spit in the face of the sensible thing on sheer principle. Being sensible lacks adventure, and is mostly boring. I don't want to go to bed. I want the night all to myself, when I can imagine that most everyone on this little island is tucked into bed (or passed out on a couch) while I am wide awake; tonights moon and gusty wind are MINE.

Now about those fears..... I am not afraid of the dark, except where it concerns not being able to see, and possibly tripping on something. I'm not really afraid of FALLING, per se, just that big crash that happens at the end of it. The falling part is fine, especially when you're talking about love, at which, by the way, I have been very LUCKY.....

Without realizing it, I recently began to paint about my fears. I saw a vision of a specific painting in my head and set about trying to create it, as is how most of my work comes about. I went through my designated sculpture metal scrap heaps, as well as the metal dumpster at the exchange, and picked out things that seemed to belong in the painting I had seen in my head. Next, I began a quest for spraypaint--scrap spray paint which would be thrown out. I am fairly adament about using discarded items for my art materials. Next, I miraculously scored some plywood, and away I went, working entirely from instinct. When I had mostly finished two pieces, I realized that all of the "sillouetted" elements in the painting represented Dangerous Things, and I decided that was to be the name of the series. Taking it a step further, I realized that the piece was the result of my brain waxing poetic about my many fears.

We are often attracted to (and even LOVE) the things that can hurt or even kill us, literally and/or figuratively. All of the elements in the paintings represented metaphors for my deepest fears. I will leave it for you to decide what the elements represent, but keep in mind that you might be seeing your own fears, and not mine. Some of the answers are obvious, while others are not.

O.O Hmmm.......Do you smell smoke... ?

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